Bitter Towards My New SILs?
Wednesday, September 30th, 2009 at
10:24 pm
SassyLassie asked:
I think I just need to commiserate. I got married last month and worked so hard to create a romantic ceremony. I got married in a very small 14th century chapel in a Scottish castle with 150 candles and a soloist. I didn’t feel this was the atmosphere for babies ( 1.5 nephew and 7 months niece). I wanted no babies at all but my now husband didn’t want to cause a fight and his family wanted the whole family there. So I bowed down and now regret it. Even though the family knew my concerns and I spoke to my inlaws and the parents several times before the wedding, the ceremony was ruined for me. I was promised that the first sign of noise from one of them that the parents would move to the back of the chapel (they were in the first pew) about a foot from the wedding party. Well, they made noise throughout the whole ceremony, played with toys, yelled, talked, and the parents Shooshes. Plus they made noise throughout the solo and the parents or grandparents never saw the need to remove them. When my husband told them how hurt I was all they say is it was a family day. It was not, it was my wedding ceremony not a Family Fun Day. Has anyone had a similar experience and how did you handle it? I am so hurt that they didn’t have enough respect for me and my hard work and not be so self absorbed with the babies. Even though everyone said the ceremony was beautiful their selfishness ruined it for me.
No, never got an apology
I think I just need to commiserate. I got married last month and worked so hard to create a romantic ceremony. I got married in a very small 14th century chapel in a Scottish castle with 150 candles and a soloist. I didn’t feel this was the atmosphere for babies ( 1.5 nephew and 7 months niece). I wanted no babies at all but my now husband didn’t want to cause a fight and his family wanted the whole family there. So I bowed down and now regret it. Even though the family knew my concerns and I spoke to my inlaws and the parents several times before the wedding, the ceremony was ruined for me. I was promised that the first sign of noise from one of them that the parents would move to the back of the chapel (they were in the first pew) about a foot from the wedding party. Well, they made noise throughout the whole ceremony, played with toys, yelled, talked, and the parents Shooshes. Plus they made noise throughout the solo and the parents or grandparents never saw the need to remove them. When my husband told them how hurt I was all they say is it was a family day. It was not, it was my wedding ceremony not a Family Fun Day. Has anyone had a similar experience and how did you handle it? I am so hurt that they didn’t have enough respect for me and my hard work and not be so self absorbed with the babies. Even though everyone said the ceremony was beautiful their selfishness ruined it for me.
No, never got an apology
Tagged with: 7 Months • Scottish Castle • Soloist
Filed under: Scotland
Like this post? Subscribe to my RSS feed and get loads more!
i agree with you. they acted innapropriately.
It may have been inappropriate but shouldn’t you be past that by now?
They should have taken the babies out of the chapel or not brought them at all. If you thought it was bad no telling what the other guests thought. I know you are upset, but it is time to let it go and have a happy life with your husband. I hope they apologized to you because that is the right thing to do.
And this is another reason why I HATE when people have the nerve to say that people are evil for NOT inviting babies! It just takes one, never mind several (I feel really bad for you) idiot parent not to be courteous or have enough fucking brains to know not to shush their child but to immediately take them out!
Tell them family day or not, they were EXTREMELY disrespectful.
That’s why we aren’t having small kids at ours. Too many parents have the “special snowflake” syndrome where they think their kids should be involved everything and they could do no wrong. And how could they ever remove little Johnny from the wedding. They don’t want to hurt his feelings. So yeah no kids. Except for my daughter who will be five and well behaved or she will be escorted out of the ceremony.
I know you are hurt, but try not to dwell on it. You are married now! Focus on that!
Your wedding sounds lovely! But my question is where was your hubby when you were begging his sisters not to bring babies? This should have been his job, and he should have given you support on that. It doesn’t do much good to walk around after the fact talking about how hurt you were. Maybe you’re leaving something out, but at the moment, I’d say this should have been his responsibility.
I have said this over and over and over again, children do NOT belong at weddings! People are so thick and stupid, children ALWAYS ***** up the day and the idiot parents just think it’s adorable. And weddings are NOT family they are WEDDINGS, not school gatherings or children’s birthday parties. Those parents should be ashamed of themselves, that is disgusting.
You’re angry with the wrong people.
Your husband didn’t want to cause a fight with his family. Rather than backing you up, he let you get distressed.
You gave in. You gave in to your husband. You gave in to his family.
Both of you have set a dangerous precedent. He sided with his family rather than supporting his (future) wife; you didn’t stand up for something you felt was important.
Your husband didn’t show you the respect you deserved; when he didn’t you should have stood up to him.
My husband and I have a simple rule: I deal with my family; he deals with his. Neither of our families is allowed to cause distress within our marriage.
Talk to your husband about his disrespect towards you. Promise yourself that you will hold true to what is important to you.
I totally agree with you Weddings are not for children. How ever it isn’t there fault is is there parents fault for not teaching them to be respectful or removing them from the ceremony! RUDE PEOPLE it is RUDE!!! Which by the way parents is the most important part of the whole wedding and your ill behaved children can mess things up you will remember for a life time! Just because you think little johnny is cute doesn’t mean every one does.
My SIL was just rude to me that day, I had hubby talk to them they also never said sorry. I would try to focus on the great things that happened that day. It going to be hard, and your going to cringe at it for a while but it will slowly become less painful. Then you will be able to move on but it takes time!